I’ve passed the four month mark as a youth director, so I thought I’d share some of what I’ve learned.
I’ve learned the names, grades, and schools. I’m starting to learn more of the back stories. I am impressed by the youth and the adult volunteers I’m working with. I’m thankful to be working with them. I’m not just saying that. If I thought otherwise, I wouldn’t write anything.
Youth ministry is like a performance. A colleague of mine compared it to playing a sport. You spend the week preparing for the weekend, you put your best plan together, you review and rehearse, and then you execute and hope things go according to plan. Which may or may not happen. I’ve had my share of both.
As you might expect, a lot of this job is about relationships. Those are still a work in progress. I’m an Air Force brat and I spent most of my childhood moving around. I developed instincts about being the new guy that served me well when I was in the private sector. You can’t get too familiar too soon. You knock on the door, but you have to spend some time waiting on the porch. People will open the door, but that isn’t an invitation to come inside. I’ve seen people mistake an open door for an invitation, but that makes the wait longer. This is not because I’m dealing with youth. It doesn’t matter if you’re 15 or 55, it’s human nature. As a youth worker, you have to learn patience and to believe in yourself. This is why seminary stresses having sources of spiritual support that don’t depend on how the ministry is going. I have no complaints; I’ve received a very positive reception from everyone. We still need time to get used to each other. I think things are on schedule, it just takes time.
I didn’t expect to feel this confident. You learn in seminary that you must develop good instincts and then trust them. Seminary professors walk the line between challenging you and telling you to trust yourself. You challenge yourself because you don’t know everything and you trust yourself because you answered a call from God. I had to challenge and trust myself back when I was an engineer, but I find it easier now to stand for what I think is best and to listen to other viewpoints. (That last comment will come back to haunt me). I try to be respectful in saying what I think, but I do say it. I find it easier to do than before.
Finally, youth ministry is like selling dog food. It’s important for the owner to buy it, but the proof of the product is if the dog will eat it. (Please remember that I’m a dog person. My dog Watson is a member of the family.) A lot of parents are glad to see me, and that’s important, but the real proof lies with the youth. Time will tell.
The Feral Deacon 