Category: Church

Reflections on Youth Ministry: Math

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What Math looks like

We didn’t teach our kids math. We wanted them to make up their own minds about it. Knowledge is such a personal thing it seemed unfair for us to impose our perspective on our children. Truth is so relative. My generation was raised with math – our parents didn’t give us a choice – but that was back when it was expected, whether you wanted to or not. It’s just different today.

We thought about having them take math, but one of ours wanted to be a dance team officer.  She’s a talented dancer and we want to encourage her to follow her dreams. As drill team season went on, it was harder and harder to fit math in to our schedule. Those coaches expect so much, they schedule extra practices, she also needs private dance lessons, and there are competitions that take up the weekend. We were also worried about how our kids would fit in with the other math kids. They know some of the kids in the math class, but they aren’t close friends. Once more of their friends start going to math, I’m sure they’ll want to go. We said maybe if they started going to math, their friends would join them, but they weren’t interested, and we weren’t going to fight that battle. It’s so hard to get them out of bed for math class. Besides, if the math teacher can’t make it interesting and keep my kid entertained in the process, they won’t learn math anyway. It’s really the math teacher’s job to make sure my kids can do math.

I know math is a life skill. I use it from time to time and it’s helped me through some rough spots. But math will always be there if they want to take it up when they’re older.

[Image is “What Math Looks Like?” by “Diane Horvath” on Flikr.  CC-BY-2.0.  I think that guy likes math.]

Observations on Youth Ministry, Part 3–Getting the Right Metaphor

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When rebooting a youth program, people want someone who can come in with a lot of charisma and produce programs with such magnetism that no one can resist their attractive force.  During my time in the private sector, I repeatedly encountered managers who thought that bringing in that one software package, that one consultant, or that one productivity initiative was going to solve everything.  The software, the consultants, and the initiatives could not match the expectations, because the managers wanted something that would bring change without effort.  To change an organization, you must change yourself.

When talking about the magnetic pull of programs, someone is bound to say, “If you build it, they will come.” I used to say it.  But I’ve learned that’s only a line from a movie.  The scriptwriters arranged the story so the words would come true.  Good programs are important, but they don’t generate enough magnetic pull on their own.

The key phrase is not “If you build it,” but “critical mass.”  It takes a certain number of people committed to making “it” work.  Here’s where we need to change our thinking: the “it” is secondary to the commitment to do “it”.

I hear food metaphors are the most effective, but we have to use the right one.  We think the metaphor is a restaurant. You have choices, but the chef has to put food he thinks you want on the menu. If you don’t see anything you like, you eat somewhere else. If the chef makes the right choices consistently, people come to the restaurant. The whole thing hinges on the chef making the right offer.  Restaurants may work that way, but not ministries.  Ministries are community meals. I have a kitchen where we can cook together.  Everyone comes together, everyone brings ingredients, and everyone cooks. Together we figure out better ways to cook and together we enjoy eating what we have prepared. We need enough people to bring enough food to make a meal.  We need enough hands to prepare the meal.  Sometimes the simplest meals are feasts when we enjoy them with our friends.  It is more important to commit to come together and eat than it is to have the right menu.

Einstein is supposed to have said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  Thriving ministries constantly evaluate and adapt.  They embrace what works, abandon what doesn’t, and constantly dig deeper to try to distinguish between what appears to be true and what actually is true.  Getting the right metaphor helps describe the situation, gets everyone thinking the same direction, and secures that common commitment.  I’ll do a common meal with the youth to drive home the point.

(Image is “1407wk7123bur” by “Wiesia” on Flickr.  CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.  I don’t know these kids.)

Telling Bible Stories After Elementary School

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King David's Tomb

I’m trying to put together a Bible study on David and I am frustrated.  The resources only tell half the story, the happy half.  David was a man after God’s own heart.  David was a mighty warrior, the founder of a dynasty, and the ancestor of God’s Messiah.  He was the husband of many beautiful wives (polygamy was not unusual then), killed a lot of Philistines, and wrote a lot of Psalms.  Everyone who met David was charmed by him and would do anything for him.  That’s a good quality for a king to have.

That’s not all David does.  The happy stuff starts in 1 Samuel and stops at 2 Samuel 10, although 2 Samuel goes all the way out to chapter 24.  In 2 Samuel 11, David had an affair with another man’s wife, got her pregnant, and then had her husband killed.  Nathan the prophet called David out.  He said that because of David’s sin, the baby from his affair would die.  We’ve been led to believe that is some kind of justice, but why should the baby die for something his parents did?  

David’s affair with Bathsheba was the beginning of a long unraveling.  David’s son, Amnon, ambushed and raped his half-sister Tamar.  Did Amnon think it was OK, given what his father did?  Absalom, Amnon’s half-brother and Tamar’s full-brother, waited for the right moment and killed Amnon.  David and Absalom finally reconciled, but Absalom had bigger plans.  He led a rebellion that drove David out of Jerusalem.  David’s warriors and Absalom’s warriors fought and David’s side won.  Despite being given orders to spare Absalom’s life, Absalom was killed by Joab, David’s military commander.  David was devastated by Absalom’s death.  The long chain of consequences from David’s affair played out to this end.

I am not saying this narrative should be all we remember about David.  I am not saying that these events negate anything good David did.  I am saying that these stories never enter the popular understanding of David, but they are right there in scripture with everything else David did.  

My friend Katie recently preached a sermon on Jonah.  In talking with her as she prepared, she said the popular understanding of Jonah stops after the fish spits Jonah up on shore.  But there’s more story.  We’re stuck in a elementary school understanding of Jonah.  I think we’re stuck in an elementary school understanding of Jonah, David, and many more biblical narratives.  How can we claim the Bible when we don’t read what’s there?  How can this book shape us when we insist on understanding it as it was presented to us in elementary school?  Adults are better served by embracing the complete picture.

David is both example and cautionary tale, a story about how someone can climb so high and fall so far.  I want to lead a Bible study that gives both parts their due.  I hope we can have a church that wants to learn from both.  

That’s what I’m wrestling with at the Jabbok Ford.

(Image is “King David’s Tomb” by Israel Tourism on Flickr.  CC BY 2.0.  It’s hard to play that thing with no strings.)

Transitions

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and so my journey began

As I’m in the process of leaving a volunteer ministry position at one church to accept a paid staff position at another, I’ve been thinking about hometowns.

I’m an Air Force brat.  I grew up moving around.  It’s a great way to grow up; I lived across the country from South Carolina to Arizona and even in Japan.  You meet all kinds of people and see all kinds of places.  You also get to choose your hometown.  I’ve compared notes with others who grew up like I did and we’ve all done it.  Some parents are surprised to hear where their child considers home.  I chose Longview, Texas, where we moved after my father retired from the service.  I finished high school there and my parents lived there for nearly 40 years.  People joke about East Texas being rural and backward, but I thought it was a great place to live, and I’ve lived in a lot of places.

People choose their hometowns based on what happened there.  Their choice is based on significant events, where they lived during a key time in their life, or where they had a lot of really close friends.  Your hometown is the place that shaped you, usually in ways you don’t truly understand until you look back.  Your hometown marks you; people can tell where you’re from.

I call Christ United Methodist Church (Plano, Texas) my spiritual hometown.  It was where my experiences led me to understand a call to ministry.  It was where my friends helped me think my way through the process that led to seminary.  It was where a pack of high school students trusted me enough to let me learn on them and put up with my “learning moments” (in other words, “mistakes”).  It was the place that shaped me, although I’ve just now started to look back.

Unfortunately, a hometown tends to be a place you leave.  I’m not moving away, but CUMC won’t have the same place in my life it once did.  I will always be grateful for CUMC, for the people I know, the experiences I had, and the lessons I learned.  I hope I’m marked by them and people will know where I’m from.

Fortunately, a hometown is a place where you’re always welcome.  I will appreciate those times when I can enjoy the welcome of those who shaped me.  I could not have chosen a better place.

(Image is “and so my journey began . . . ” by Shando Darby on Flickr.  CC BY-ND-NC 2.0.  Heading for the light.)

The APPA Cross

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Our high school students go on an annual mission trip called APPA.  The program began with trips to support missions in the Appalachians.  We no longer go there, but the name has stuck.  APPA 2015 took place in Dalhart, Texas.  This is a reflection inspired by this trip and those before it.

appa 2015 cross

I’m not sure how or when the tradition of making a cross started, but I think it’s relatively recent.  On my first APPA, we all signed a board that went into the project, but it was hidden away inside the construction, like a beam signing for a church building.  Today each work team makes a cross, signed by each member of the team, usually containing our theme scripture for the week.

It seems natural for a church group to leave behind a cross as a marker of its work, but in a short time these crosses have become the symbol for the trip and the work.  When I build a wheelchair ramp, I like to do a “victory run” where the team lines up on each side of the ramp to cheer while the homeowner comes down the ramp.  It’s a ritual to mark handing over the ramp to the homeowner.  The crosses have created a different ritual.  The team presents the cross to the homeowner as a way to present the completed project.  You can see two cross presentations in this video.  Note also the prominence of the crosses with the work teams.

cross collage

Homeowners are as proud of the crosses as they are of the entire project.  They like to have them displayed in prominent places.  Floyd, a 2014 homeowner in very poor health, told his family he wants to be buried with his.

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According to Thomas Aquinas, Jesus on the cross opens his arms wide, to receive all humanity, while at the same time pointing upward to our heavenly Father.  The APPA cross shows how homeowners and work teams receive each other, transforming each other’s lives to the glory of God.  One day I hope to drive through a small town and see a project with a small cross next to it, the mark of gifts given and received.

The APPA Note

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Our high school students go on an annual mission trip called APPA.  The program began with trips to support missions in the Appalachians.  We no longer go there, but the name has stuck.  APPA 2015 took place in Dalhart, Texas.  This is a reflection inspired by this trip and those before it.

Notes by Brady

This was the 35th APPA.  The event has picked up plenty of traditions; my favorite is the APPA note.  It’s a personal note you write to someone on the trip who has touched your life.  Since APPA comes at the end of the school year, many APPA notes become statements about the whole year.    There’s a minimum expectation that you’ll write APPA notes to people in your work group.  Once I start, I have a hard time stopping.  After my work group, I write notes to 11th graders (the grade level I work with), 10th graders (who I teach in Sunday School), to the other adult volunteers (because we’re our own support group), and to graduating seniors (to wish them well).  Why?  Because I have learned more about myself through APPA notes than nearly anything else.  Writing that note means taking the time to say what we really mean to each other.  There have been no more significant milestones in my spiritual journey than my APPA notes.

The notes told me I have a good way with people.  The adults said I had a good way with the students; the students said I was fun and good to work with.  I’m an introvert – none of this should be true.  When my children graduated, the notes told me to keep working with youth.  During the APPAs when I helped students plan the evening worship, the notes told me it wouldn’t have happened without me.  (I still think that’s giving me too much credit.)  It is amazing how much gratitude fits in a simple note.  The simpler the note, the greater the gratitude.  The note that still blows me away, two years later, contains only four words:  What gifts you have.

When I reached a point in my career where I had to either leave or become one of the working dead, those notes showed me the way.  I am an introvert with people skills.  Youth like having me around.  I help people organize themselves.  I have gifts.

Enough about me.  Here’s the takeaway:

  • You never know how you’ve touched someone’s life. But you have.
  • You touch lives in more ways than you know. You have gifts.
  • Your gifts may be invisible to you, but not to those around you. Pay attention.
  • If certain people are doing good in your life – tell them. They probably don’t know.
(Image is “Notes” by Brady on Flickr.  CC BY 2.0. )

Another Church-State Thought

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If you read the Constitution, you don’t find the phrase “separation of church and state”, even though we say there’s a provision for separation of church and state in it.  Based on a comment from a previous blog entry, I thought I’d look at the issue.  So I turned to http://www.constitution.org, the official web site of The Constitution Society.  Here’s what I learned.

The phrase “separation of church and state” comes from a letter Thomas Jefferson wrote to the Danbury Baptist Association in 1802.  They wrote Jefferson wondering why he had not declared national days of fasting and thanksgiving.  (Would anyone really fast if we had a day of fasting?)  Here’s Jefferson’s reply.  I put the key phrase in bold.  You can find this at http://www.constitution.org/tj/sep_church_state.htm.

To messers Nehemiah Dodge, Ephraim Robbins, & Stephen S. Nelson, a committee of the Danbury Baptist association in the state of Connecticut.

Gentlemen

The affectionate sentiments of esteem & approbation which you are so good as to express towards me, on behalf of the Danbury Baptist association, give me the highest satisfaction. my duties dictate a faithful & zealous pursuit of the interests of my constituents, and in proportion as they are persuaded of my fidelity to those duties, the discharge of them becomes more & more pleasing.

Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man & his god, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, thus building a wall of separation between church and state. [Congress thus inhibited from acts respecting religion, and the Executive authorised only to execute their acts, I have refrained from presenting even occasional performances of devotion presented indeed legally where an Executive is the legal head of a national church, but subject here, as religious exercises only to the voluntary regulations and discipline of each respective sect.] Adhering to this expression of the supreme will of the nation in behalf of the rights of conscience, I shall see with sincere satisfaction the progress of those sentiments which tend to restore to man all his natural rights, convinced he has no natural right in opposition to his social duties.

I reciprocate your kind prayers for the protection and blessing of the common Father and creator of man, and tender you for yourselves and your religious association, assurances of my high respect & esteem.

(signed)
Th Jefferson
Jan.1.1802.

The phrases “should make no law respecting an establishment of religion” and “prohibit[ing] the free exercise thereof” come from the First Amendment, which is given here:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Jefferson is saying that since Congress “shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof”, there exists a wall of separation between church and state.  It appears that Jefferson is saying the First Amendment builds a wall between church and state.  While it is true that Constitution does not contain the phrase “separation of church and state,” as far as Jefferson was concerned, it contains the concept.

 

Final Thoughts on LPYC Choir Tour – Day Nine – Reality and Connections

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This is the final blog entry inspired by the 2014 tour of the Living Proof Youth Choir (LPYC) of Christ UMC in Plano, Texas.  It isn’t meant to be a summary of the tour, but a set of reflections prompted by events on the trip.

I wanted to blog and figured if choir tour didn’t give me enough material, then nothing could, so I challenged myself to write an entry per day.  OK, I fudged it a little by combining some days, but I had good reasons.  Here we come to the last entry for choir tour – but not for the blog!

Enough time has passed that any emotional high I got from the trip has been beaten back into submission by everyday life, which makes it a good time to add some final remarks.

The one-word sermon for this trip would have to be connections.  You can tell from the previous entries that the music provided a common ground for the choir to make connections with people who didn’t live in their everyday world.  If New Kingdom Church can feel like family, if you can share stories with the people at Breakthrough Ministries, if you can hold the shaking hand of an elderly woman and tell her about your school, you’ve made connections.

The final stop on tour is our own church.  The choir sings for the three worship services we have in the sanctuary.  The congregation is parents, siblings, and friends, but there’s still the challenge of connecting.

We did our final devotional while on the road back to Plano.  Our group’s discussion moved from the devotional to that very challenge.  How can we communicate to the people at home what kind of week we had?  I could tell a difference in their singing as the week passed.  Those songs had people and stories attached to them and singing was a way to reconnect with those people and those stories.  It’s the step beyond owning the message:  the message owns you.

This was not just the last stop on the tour.  Trey, the director, was leaving our church to move back to Alabama.  For the past three years Trey has been a director, example, mentor, friend, coach, resource, you-name-it for the youth in this choir.  Trey would do anything for these youth and they would do anything for him.  (He also writes a very good blog.)

So they sang the three services.  The congregation loved the music, as we knew they would.  The video told some of the stories from the tour.  For the third service, the chaperones made the congregation stand and clap for Praise His Holy Name, just to try to capture that feeling.

Then it came time for that last song at the last service and the last time Trey would lead the choir.  This was about more than the last week, it was about the last three years.  How do you get through a song that means goodbye?  You do it by connecting.  As Trey stepped up to direct, the singers on the front row joined hands, followed by the second row, then the next and the next.  Our connections make us stronger.  As we made those connections outside ourselves, it became easier to make those connections between ourselves.  It’s hard to wipe your eyes when you’re holding hands, but the choir managed to cry, sing, and hold hands all at once.

Trey thanked the congregation, stepped back to the choir and fell into the largest group hug I’ve ever seen.

group hug edit

I don’t think the choir could have shown the congregation everything they experienced that week, but that moment said a lot.

I began this series with a challenge to myself, so let me end it with a challenge to you.  There are really only two things God wants you to do:  to love and serve God and to love and serve your neighbor.  It’s a short and difficult list, but when you’re doing it, you realize that this is Reality.  I believe for a week this past July, the Living Proof Youth Choir did it as well as fallible humans can.  The challenge is to bring Reality into your everyday lives.  You start by connecting.

Thoughts on LPYC Choir Tour – Days Seven and Eight – Random Thoughts

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This is one of a set of blog entries inspired by the 2014 tour of the Living Proof Youth Choir (LPYC) of Christ UMC in Plano, Texas.  It isn’t meant to be a summary of the tour, but a set of reflections prompted by events on the trip.

day 291_the big list

Day Seven (Friday) was a play day and Day Eight (Saturday) a travel day.  We spent most of Friday at Six Flags St. Louis, then travelled to Springfield, MO.  We spent all of Saturday travelling from Springfield to Plano.  Saturday night was the night of the tour we could spend in our own beds.  The final day of tour was signing all three Sunday services in the CUMC sanctuary.  I’ll write about Sunday morning in the final post of this series.

We spent Friday night with our nighttime devotional, then our traditional tribute to the seniors.  Each senior chooses someone to speak to how much that senior has meant to the youth program.

Trey would allow them stay up all night if an adult stayed up all night with them.  I volunteered.  I learned a lot, but not anything what I’d want to share in a blog.  I spent much of Saturday asleep.

Other random thoughts:

  • The theme of the tour was “My Life is in Your Hands”, but Order My Steps seemed to be the song of the tour.
  • One of our group pictures was photo bombed in front of Chicago’s Field Museum.  Check the back row for an unfamiliar face.
  • This quote kept coming to mind:  “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou.
  • I can’t call these singing engagements concerts.  I’ve been calling them “experiences.”
  • “Church” is a much bigger place than just your congregation.
  • I haven’t done justice to the end of the day devotionals.  Within the bound of the devotional topic, it’s a free for all.  A lot of fundamental issues and a lot of great questions.  We might have even answered some of them.

I’m leaving the rest of the space for other people’s comments.  Feel free to add a comment.

(Image is “day 291_the big list” by Ana C. on Flickr.  CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

Thoughts on LPYC Choir Tour – Days Five and Six – When You Need a Word from God

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This is one of a set of blog entries inspired by the 2014 tour of the Living Proof Youth Choir (LPYC) of Christ UMC in Plano, Texas.  It isn’t meant to be a summary of the tour, but a set of reflections prompted by events on the trip.

Breakfast is Ready at Miriam's Kitchen

Imagine you’re trying to rebuild your life from scratch.  You’re a guest (client) at Breakthrough Ministries in Chicago.  They’ve helped you find a job and provided room and board to help your transition to living on your own again.  It is hard work pulling yourself back together, but you carry a song with you.

Order my steps in your Word, dear Lord,

Lead me guide me every day

Send your anointing, Father, I pray

Order my steps in your word

Imagine you’ve just eaten a breakfast cooked by a youth choir from Texas and now they’re lining up to sing.  Their first song?  Order My Steps.  It is a word from God.

For Linda at Breakthrough Ministries in Chicago, there’s nothing to imagine.  It happened.

Breakthrough Ministries serves the East Garfield Park neighborhood on the West Side of Chicago.  It’s not far from the Austin neighborhood and New Kingdom Church.  Breakthrough has a variety of programs that provide men and women with the tools to make a new start.  They help them find jobs, provide transitional housing, medical and mental health services, assistance in finding housing, all with the goal of enabling their guests to become self-sufficient.  They also provide after school programs for youth, pre-K education, and a food pantry.  Be sure to watch the video on the Breakthrough Ministries web site.

The Seniors got up early on Wednesday and Thursday mornings to cook breakfast for the guests.  The rest of the choir joined them and we sang as the guests ate and got ready to start their days.  We visited the men’s facility on Wednesday and the women’s on Thursday.  We weren’t sure what to expect.  We were told that sometimes the guests in the women’s facility were coming out of abusive relationships and weren’t ready to open up to strangers.  Once we got there, I felt like we were back in New Kingdom Church.

We met Linda at the women’s facility.  I was recording a video of the singing and saw Linda singing along to every word of Order My Steps.  She would lift her hands, stop to wipe her eyes, then lift her hands again.  The choir had a chance to visit with her later and she shared her story.

We met Sylvester at the men’s facility.  He’s part of a musical trio made up of Breakthrough guests, The Breakthrough Trio.  The other two guys weren’t there, but he sang “To God Be the Glory” for us.  Another guest at the same table wasn’t about to be outdone and sang “He is My All in All”.

This choir is used to presenting music to people.  They’re used to people who appreciate the music’s beauty.  They’re used to people who enjoy their commitment to singing.

They’re not used to music as common ground.  They’re not used to meeting people who have been given something to hang onto, those times when there is no difference between music and prayer.

This is a link to a video of the entire tour.  You’ll see Sylvester standing and clapping at the men’s facility.  You’ll see Linda singing and wiping her eyes at the women’s facility.  You’ll see some in our choir stop to wipe their eyes.  One of the voiceover messages says it best:  “Sometimes all a person needs is the right words, at the right time, sung with the right amount of love.”  We are blessed so that we may be a blessing.

That was Chicago.  It formed the axis about which this tour turned.  Amy Krouse Rosenthal said, “What you seek, you will find.  What you summon, will find you.”  What we found and what found us were far more wonderful than anything we could have imagined.  We beckoned lovely and made the most of our time here.

(Image is “Breakfast is Ready at Miriam’s Kitchen” by GEOFFREY DUDGEON on FLICKR, CC-BY-NC 2.0)